Part 1 of 3

The Impact We Cannot Always See

How power, presence and listening shape the systems around us

Recently, during a coaching supervision conversation, I was reminded of how quietly a person can disappear from a room without physically leaving it.

Someone had entered a learning environment ready to participate. They were thoughtful, capable and open to the experience. Then, during the conversation, they felt dismissed. Their perspective seemed to carry less weight, and their contribution was not received in the way they had hoped.

Nothing dramatic happened. No one raised their voice. The session continued.

The person simply became quieter.

From the outside, that quietness might have been interpreted as agreement, uncertainty or a lack of interest. Internally, something very different was happening. They were protecting themselves from feeling diminished again.

The people around them may never have known.

That conversation has stayed with me because it captures the theme I want to explore with you this month:

What impact am I actually having, not just intending?

This is the central inquiry for a three-part series on Listening to Impact.

We will consider the ripple effects of leadership, the consequences that may remain invisible and what it means to take responsibility for our impact without turning reflection into self-punishment.

Intention Is Only Part of the Story

Most leaders do not intend to silence, diminish or exclude the people around them.

We may intend to provide direction, share expertise, prevent a mistake or move a conversation forward. We may believe we are being helpful.

Our intention matters. It reflects something about our values and purpose.

It is not, however, the final measure of our impact.

The people around us experience more than our intention. They experience our timing, tone, attention, assumptions and use of power. They notice whether there is space for their thinking. They feel whether their contribution is welcomed, tolerated or quietly set aside.

Leadership maturity asks us to hold both truths at once:

I may have meant well, and the impact may still have been different from what I intended.

The purpose of recognising this is not to condemn ourselves. It is to become more attentive and more responsible.

Listening for Power

Every conversation contains some form of power.

Power may come from position, expertise, status, confidence, personality or control over a decision. It can also shift from one moment to the next.

We sometimes describe these dynamics as power over, power under and power with.

Power over appears when one person’s authority or expertise leaves little room for another person’s thinking.

Power under can appear when someone gives away their voice, withdraws or waits for another person to provide an answer they may be capable of discovering.

Power with does not mean that everyone holds the same authority or responsibility. It means creating enough partnership for the knowledge, experience and perspective within the relationship to be used well.

Coaching seeks to work through power with. Yet even in a coaching relationship, the balance is not fixed.

A thoughtful question may open a conversation. An assumption may close it. A moment of patient attention may help someone find clarity. An interruption may communicate that their thinking is no longer required.

These shifts can happen within seconds. Their consequences may last much longer.

Listening for the Surprising Ripple

When we think about impact, we often look for the immediate result.

• Was the task completed?
• Did the person understand?
• Did the meeting reach a decision?
• Is someone ready for greater responsibility?

Those are useful questions, but they do not tell us everything.

When someone develops the ability to listen more deeply at work, the effect may appear in places that were never included in the development plan.

A leader may discover that conversations with a teenage child become less confrontational.

A coach may begin to hear what a spouse has been trying to express.

Someone leading a community group or sports team may ask a genuine question rather than assuming they already know what everyone needs.

The original intention may have been to strengthen a professional skill. The impact begins to travel through families, teams and communities.

That is the nature of a ripple. It can be broader, deeper and more surprising than we expect.

We Are Part of Living Systems

When I speak about an ecosystem, I am not describing something mechanical, made only of processes, inputs and outputs.

I am thinking about living systems.

Our bodies offer a useful illustration. Cells work together to form organs. Organs communicate through larger bodily systems. Those systems contribute to the wellbeing of the whole person.

Each person then lives and works within other living systems: families, teams, organisations, professions and communities. These systems continually influence one another.

A healthy system is not one in which difficulty never occurs. It is one that can communicate, learn, respond and repair.

This sits at the heart of our work:

Healthy leaders contribute to healthy teams. Healthy teams contribute to healthy organisations. Healthy organisations can contribute to healthier ecosystems.

The way we listen matters because it influences whether the people within those systems become more able to participate or more inclined to protect themselves.

Do people become clearer and more capable through their conversations with us?

Or do they become quieter, more cautious and more dependent on whoever appears to hold the authority?

Responsibility Without Self-Flagellation

Discovering that our impact differed from our intention can be uncomfortable.

The temptation may be to defend ourselves: “That is not what I meant.”

The opposite temptation is to make ourselves entirely responsible for another person’s response.

Neither position is especially useful.

Responsibility means being willing to remain curious about the effect we had. It means listening before explaining, acknowledging what is ours and repairing what can be repaired.

It also means recognising that we are part of the system, not in complete control of it.

We can take responsibility for our contribution without assuming responsibility for everything.

That distinction allows reflection to remain honest and constructive. It creates room for learning without turning learning into punishment.

Try This: Listen Beyond Your Intention

Think about a recent conversation in which you held more authority, knowledge or influence.

Ask yourself:

• What was I hoping to achieve?

• What happened to the other person’s energy as the conversation continued?

• When did they become more engaged, & when did they become more cautious?

• Where did my expertise create clarity, & where did it leave less room for their thinking?

• What might they have experienced that I did not intend?

• How do I know &/or how could I find out what my actual impact was?

• What could working through 'power with' look like next time?

You may not have complete answers.

The point is not to conduct a private trial against yourself. It is to notice more of the system you are helping to create.

What I’m Hearing

Through the Leadership Listening Project and my wider conversations with pharmacists, coaches and organisational leaders, I am listening for what helps people contribute well.

The reflections received so far are early signals, not research findings. Even so, several questions are beginning to emerge.

• How can leaders provide clarity without assuming that every useful answer sits at the top?
• How can responsibility be shared without people feeling abandoned or controlled?
• What helps someone feel safe enough to say what they can see, particularly when their perspective differs from that of the person holding greater authority?

These are questions worth exploring together.

If you work within pharmacy leadership, I would value your perspective:

Add your voice to the Listening to Pharmacy Leadership survey

One Question for You

When people leave a conversation with you, are they more able to think, contribute and take appropriate responsibility?

You are welcome to reply with a sentence. I read every response.

You can also revisit earlier reflections in the 4Front newsletter archive.

Coming Next

Recognising our impact is one thing. Following that impact through an organisation is another.

In Part 2, we will consider what happens when a clear decision at the top creates uncertainty for the person expected to carry it.

Part 2, What Change Asks of the People Carrying It, will arrive on Friday, 23 October.

If someone in your circle would value this reflection, please forward it to them. They can subscribe to receive future newsletters here.

Warm regards,

Rachel Dungan
The Pharmacist Coach
MPSI | ICF-MCC | ACTC | NBC-HWC | EMCC-SP
Director of Education, Lead With Coaching Institute
Founder, 4Front Pharmacy Solutions

P.S. If this newsletter has highlighted something important you would like space to think through, reply to me at rachel@racheldungan.com and tell me what you are carrying. I will point you towards the most appropriate next step, whether that is a Strategic Thinking Session, 1:1 Coaching, the LCI Certificate, or simply a useful resource.