Four Small Steps for Big Wins

Have you ever noticed that when your confidence is low, you downplay your strengths and over-emphasise your flaws? Or, that when you feel small, you act small, or not at all? When this happens your self-esteem and confidence plummets and the cycle sends you spiraling downward until you feel as if you are a loser – a lost cause.

That simply is not true. You have gifts, attributes, and skills that are uniquely yours. And if you look back over your life, you will find that you have experienced many successes, and positively impacted others’ lives.   

If you ever feel yourself minimising your positive traits and maximising your flaws, then take these steps for reversing the cycle and getting back into the winner circle.  These are the top three steps that my clients say have helped them move from self-criticism back to confidence.  

Step 1 – Celebrate your wins. By recognising your successes, whether it’s making a difficult phone call or actually recognising you are stressed and booking a holiday, giving yourself a pat on the back for successes – large and small – will boost your confidence. When you win, make the time to stop, celebrate and savour. 

 Step 2 – Learn from your mistakes.  We all stumble and make mistakes, especially when learning or trying something new.  Mistakes indicate that we have movement, we are making an effort and moving forward, even if there is a detour. The more we try something new, the more mistakes (learning opportunities) we have.

People who do not make mistakes are standing still in safe territory, or their comfortable routines. And, when you think about it, isn’t that a mistake? 

Step 3 – Keep trying. People who achieve their goals don't stop until they've reached the finish line. When we want to win big, we must be willing to miss, learn and try again.  With persistent and determined action, we're guaranteed an eventual win. So, be prepared to pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and get going again.

Step 4 - Get an ally.  Developing and maintaining new habits requires support.  Surround yourself with people who support you and whose behaviours and attitudes are aligned with your goals.  Make sure you build in accountability, that voice who kindly and relentlessly holds you to your vision, picks you up and dusts you off when you make a mistake and doesn't buy into your self-sabotaging excuses.     

So, the next time you feel your confidence slipping,  remember to celebrate, learn, keep at it and get an ally.  You will be glad you did.