Two Wolves

As the tale of the two wolves tells us we are either feeding the fearful, negative, Saboteur wolf OR we are feeding the expansive, vibrant, courageous Sage wolf.  Whichever neural network gets more use expands, and the other contracts.  Unfortunately, most of us, by default and training have over-active Saboteur Wolf tendencies and under-utilised Sage Wolf pathways.  To address this imbalance requires our daily, consistent, intentional, conscious choice to feed the Sage Wolf, an environment where our Sage can thrive, and a commitment to developing ongoing conscious, self-mastery practices. 

I am proud and grateful that 4Front’s Positive Leadership Academy provides such a community for pharmacy professionals. 

Together, we have a backbone of steel (as we hold one another accountable to feeding the Sage wolf) and a heart of gold (as we support one another to leverage the power of neuroplasticity in our favour).  

As anyone in addiction services will tell you, the most dangerous time in a person’s recovery is when the Saboteur Wolf lulls us into a false sense of security and complacency….It seduces us with the thought that we no longer need to be vigilant and can just leave the food out for both wolves! 

From a fragile, Saboteur perspective, these setbacks tell us to give up.  ‘What’s the point?  You may as well give up.  This is too hard,’ the Saboteur Wolf shouts, with the aim of weakening our resolve. 

From an anti-fragile Sage perspective, these setbacks teach us humility, perseverance and strengthens our resolve.  ‘See,’ our Sage Wolf says, ‘Obstacles Make You Stronger.  You were made to do hard things.  You’ve got this.  I believe in you.’

This is when I get to remember my power to choose.  Which wolf do I choose to feed right now?    

Which wolf do you feed? 

Remember, whatever your circumstance, whatever others do, whatever wolf you have been feeding up until now, we all have the power to choose.  Use this power wisely.  You are not alone.  Wolves are pack animals.  Just like your Saboteur Wolf, your Sage wolf thrives in community.  Choose your community based on who you WANT to become.

And, remember, those you do not get to choose are often your greatest teachers, if only you choose to become a brilliant student. 

On that note, I offer a big thank you to MY greatest teachers – my family – without whom I could still be in blissful ignorance about my S-T-R-E-T-C-H areas! As they evolve, they challenge me to grow into a wiser, more compassionate, more resourceful, forgiving, humble and inspiring spouse, parent, daughter, coach, mentor, supervisor, pharmacist!  

The curriculum they have gifted me has been a challenging one – tailored specifically for me.  I would not have chosen some of the lessons.  But apparently, I needed assignments to model setting clear and loving boundaries, communicating needs and helping them to communicate theirs, learn to see my own vulnerability as a strength and become better at both giving and receiving help.  Their ongoing personal development curriculum has also helped me to get better and better at discerning between being judgemental and having good judgement.   The curriculum continues!

My Sage Wolf reminds me that Obstacles Make Me Stronger (OMMS).  And when my Saboteur Wolf starts to seduce me, because my Sage Wolf is well-fed, it provides a counter-point to my Saboteur Wolf’s dire predictions. 

For example, recently (prompted by a question from my sister), my teenage sons and daughter shared that they believe that I am ‘mature.’  When asked by my sister what evidence they had for this conclusion, they replied to her (while I was present but not participating) from different perspectives.

1. Child 1: Mum is mature because she regulates the mood in our home. She is very patient and doesn’t add to the drama.  (NOTE:  In my case… patience is a LEARNED skill, and certainly NOT my default mode!  And yes, being their mother has certainly been fantastic training material!)
2. Child 2: Mum is mature because she owns a business and has three children. (Apparently, balancing these three roles requires very high degrees of maturity! ) 
3. Child 3: Mum is mature because she is a really good listener and asks really annoying questions. She listens to understand different points of view, even when the other person is obviously wrong!!  (Apparently, this is so rare, it is - noteworthy! )
4. BONUS comment…. When you (my sister) asked that question, I was thinking – Who would I want to be stuck on a desert island alone with?  I think it would be Mum, because even though I am a totally different person to Mum, she gets me.  I think that makes her mature.    (Who knew???)

What is YOUR definition of maturity?  How would you want your loved ones, staff, colleagues, friends and customers to answer this question about you? 

My Continuous Professional Development (CPD) journey to becoming a better and better pharmacist and patient, coach and coachee, supervisor and supervisee, mentor and mentee, teacher and student has also benefited our family and me personally more than any of us will ever know, and for that I could not be more grateful. 

For YOU, what are YOU most proud of this month?  What are YOU grateful for?  How can  YOU leverage your strengths to coach and empower others to be at their best?